The Most Effective Ways to Maintain Your Long-Distance Friendships and Keep Them Alive

Posted Moving Tips&Tricks / September 17, 2020
Blake Shaw

Bostonian and residential moving and packing expert. Blake Shaw enjoys bar-hopping, music, and writing insightful content.

When moving long-distance, we can usually bring with us anything we want, from clothes to cars, except for one thing, our close ones that are staying behind. Some people say they don’t believe in long-distance friendships. We are here today to prove them wrong. Here are some tips on keeping in touch and staying close with the people you grew up with, high school friends, or anyone else you want to keep in touch with after moving cross country.

Long-distance moving is always exciting, a bit stressful, and a bit sad. People usually relocate for the better, whether they got a job in another state before moving there, they want to chase their dreams, or they’re moving for love or college. However, once that initial excitement and thrill start to fade, we slowly begin thinking about the things and people we are leaving behind. If you’re worried about losing your best buds, we have some recommendations on maintaining these relationships even when you’re miles apart.


When to Break Down the Big News That You’re Leaving?

It’s official, you’re moving, and that’s great, but now comes the hard part where you have to tell your friends you’re moving cross country. We know it is not easy, but this is something you shouldn’t postpone because your buds might even get mad at you for not telling them. Keeping this information as a secret can only increase your level of moving stress, so this should be at the top of your moving to-do list. A true friend will always be happy for you and reassure you that your friendship can survive no matter what.

The sooner you tell them, the sooner they can start helping you with your relocation. Who knows how many great moving tips on how to pack books for moving, auto shipping, and other stuff your buddies have? Perhaps you don’t know how to change your address, where to order moving supplies, or where to get free moving boxes, but they can help you. Include them in the process and take advantage of the time you have together. Ask them to help you create a college packing list or a moving expenses checklist, make them feel like their opinion matters to you in this situation. And of course, don’t forget to throw an unforgettable moving away party.


Do Long-Distance Friendships Work?

If the connection and the friendship you have are genuine, distance means nothing. It sounds like a cliche, but that’s the way it is. Will they work or not? Time will show because it depends on both sides. Your friend might have an understanding if, in the beginning, you’re too overwhelmed and busy with all the things you need for your first apartment. But once you settle down, and you’re done with all the long-distance moving services, make sure to call or write, and start getting used to this new form of hanging out with your bud.

There’s not a recipe to success, but just because you’re miles apart doesn’t mean your friendship is set to fail. Relationships can break even when people are moving locally, a few blocks away. So don’t focus so much on the mileage and the negative aspects, and start looking forward to many adventures together once you’re reunited.

How Do You Survive a Long-Distance Friendship?

In order to maintain and nurture such connections, you need to set up a solid base. However, that doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you need to know that person for years. Perhaps you met someone only a few months before your interstate moving adventure, and things clicked between you two. It is essential that both sides want to continue working on this relationship and investing their time into moments spent together, even if it’s only online.

Is your bond strong enough to evolve and adapt to this phase? Are you ready to make some adjustments and small sacrifices to stay in touch? For example, getting up early for a call if you’re in different time zones? There will be times when you both will be too busy, but you both must be comfortable enough with each other to bounce back and continue like there was no break at all. So, if you want to make it work, you’ll have to put in a bit more effort and understanding, it might not be ideal, but if that person is worth it, then you shouldn’t have a dilemma.

Tips and Ideas on How to Stay In Touch With Long-Distance Friends on a Regular Basis

You managed to find the cheapest way to move out of state, and with the help of a few moving hacks, everything is finally falling into its place. But there’s just one problem. You miss your friends too much. If you’re thinking, “should I move back home,” know that that is something you can always do, but is it the right choice? Making friends in a new city can be challenging, but maintaining your long-distance friendships is not much easier. Every beginning of a new chapter is hard, but don’t give up before trying some of our recommendations on maintaining relationships with people back home.

Start Practicing These Things to Maintain Your Long-Distance Friendships

Start new traditions

Perhaps you’re not someone who likes to talk a lot on the phone or spend hours texting. But what about writing a letter? Writing is much more personal, and waiting for a response can be something you’ll look forward to.

Don't talk just about yourself

If you’re the one who moved out, we’re sure you have loads of stories to tell, whether it is about the whole moving experience or about little everyday things that are different. However, although your friend will appreciate the fact you want to share every detail, you should not forget to ask how they are doing, what’s new, etc. Don’t forget the important dates and things that are important to them.

Surprise them

If you know that your friend’s birthday is coming up, or an important date, something big happened in their life, why not show how much you care by sending a small gift? It doesn’t have to be anything expensive. Even if you send a small card that shows you’re thinking about them could do the job much better than a text message.

Schedule it

If you both are very busy or live in different time zones, it is hard to find a moment when you are both available. To avoid too many missed calls and ignored texts, pick a day in a week when you both are free, and let it be a weekly ritual to chat every Saturday afternoon, or whenever it works for you two.

Keep it real

You might be tempted to focus only on the good things happening after the relocation, but you should talk about the downsides of it too. Perhaps you were a victim of moving scams. Your apartment is not the same as it looked online, you don’t like your coworkers, or you still have not met your neighbors, etc. Life is not always perfect, and you should not be ashamed to talk about it to your close ones.

Shared experiences

Just because you’re not together physically, that doesn’t mean you can’t do some things together. Watch your favorite Netflix show together while talking on the phone, or call each other to drink morning coffee together. You can play video games and even go online shopping together, why not? Options are numerous.

Try to see each other occasionally

Depending on the mileage and circumstances, you should strive to meet your buds whenever there’s a chance. Invite them to come over and show them all the exciting things in your city, plan a vacation together, or yearly gatherings. No matter how much you’re comfortable communicating online and you get used to it, nothing can’t replace spending some time together in real life.

Other Related Things You Can Do to Keep Up With Your Friend

If you’re open to trying something different and exploring other communication options, take a look at this video to get some fresh ideas.

YouTube video

What Should I Write to My Long-Distance Friend? Share New Stories and Reminiscence Old Ones

Embrace the fact that you’ll have to write a lot more. You can no longer reply to texts with just “ok” “I’m fine,” and so on. You don’t have to write daily, but at least once or twice a week should help you keep up with everything that is going on in each other’s lives. Maybe you saw a bookshop that reminded you of your friend’s favorite book, or you found a great coffee spot where you want to take your buds once they come to visit. Share those little stories with them to show them how much you think about them, but also keep them updated with everything important that’s going on.

Signs Your Friendship Might Be Doomed

Sometimes, no matter how much we try, we just drift away from certain people. Perhaps that is for the best, it was not meant to be, or someone stopped trying and showed its true colors. Moving state to state is a true test for every friendship, so if someone doesn’t want to be a part of your life, you should let them go. In the beginning, you’ll try to justify and find excuses, but if someone’s changed, you can’t really do much about it but to accept it. Also, maybe you’re the one who wants to cut ties? So, if you notice some of these signs, perhaps you should move on.

  • You fight more often
  • Things become awkward between you
  • You don’t want to share everything that’s going on
  • You think their behavior is toxic
  • You feel like they don’t care
  • There’s too many ignored text and missed calls
  • You drifted apart

Why Are Long-Distance Friendships the Best?

On the bright side, there are still some people who really enjoy nurturing long-distance friendships. The thing is, if your relationship can pass this test, especially in the first few months that are usually the most critical, it is safe to say that you have a reliable bud for a lifetime. And, at the end of the day, that is all that matters. So let’s see why these relationships are worth maintaining and what are the signs you have a true comrade by your side.

  • You make each other laugh even when you’re not together
  • You cherish more those moments you get to spend together
  • Your relationship gets stronger
  • You always have a place to go to
  • You have so many memories to resemble
  • You always have someone to rely on


Strive to Maintain a Long-Distance Friendship After Moving Cross Country

Who knows, maybe your roads cross one day again and you find yourself in the same city with your childhood bestie, but until then, try to stay in touch. There are so many great ways and options to communicate online that there are no valid excuses for ignoring your loved ones. This will bring your relationship to another level and make that bond even stronger, so don’t be afraid of it.

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